11.23.2008

He Speaks!!!

Yes, this is indeed a very rare occasion that I would actually sit down and type out something like this. I am definitely not running low on opinions or things to say, just a little more difficult to find the motivation. However, since having a baby is such a "huge" thing (do you use quotation marks when quoting yourself?), I will honor it with a blog concerning my take on the whole situation.

Now, it is completely possible to finish reading the previous blog, written by my dear wife, and walk away thinking that I was completely opposed to the whole idea of having a kid. I was only patially opposed. Well, "opposed" is really a poor choice of words. The true sentiment could be more aptly described as having serious "apprehensions" about having a baby. Why? The obvious fears and concerns were there of course: Am I ready to be a father?, Would I make a good father?, Are we ready financially, mentally, emotionally, even...dare I say.. socially? (If having a child puts a strain on your social life and we are already reclusive, we may never get out of the house again!) I find it somewhat ironic that the main thing that was making me drag my feet about being a parent, was one of the things that Jaime listed as a sign that she was ready to be one. Our relationship. I know this sounds horribly selfish but the last 5 years have been great. Don't get me wrong, there have been some pretty crappy things that we have had to deal with during that time. However, it seemed like whatever poop we had to wade through, always seemed to bring us closer and our relationship stronger. I love our life here in TN. I love our little home and love sharing it with my best friend. We do everything together. I would just as soon go out (or stay home) with her than with any other friend I have ever had. Yeah, I know that a baby will not destroy or break that, but I am not sure I am ready to share. I realize that might be incredibly selfish, but I have really had to work on not seeing our newcomer as "intruding." It is OUR life, that the TWO of us have worked at and enjoyed together. Now, of course I know that our child will be a wonderful addition to our little family, and he/she will be welcomed. I also know, that as soon as I lay eyes on that baby, he/she will have my heart forever and will be the best daddy I can possibly be. BUT I also know, that things will never be the same. It will never be just US again (at least until we are much older). Anyways, there you go. I am warming up to the idea of a little youngster. I just hope he knows what an incredible mommy he/she has and what a "huge" sacrifice I am making by sharing her.

6 comments:

  1. Jason:

    Sharing is caring.
    Hugs, not drugs.
    Waste not, want not.

    ...


    ...I ran out of inspirational things to say. All that's left to say is that if it's a little girl, you are WRAPPED, son!

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  2. I would like to note that Jason posted this all by himself. I awoke this morning to find this sweet little blog. I just didn't anyone to think that in my pregnant hormonal rage I demanded that he write his reflections on our pregnancy. Nope, he totally surprised me with this one. I love that we does want to share me, with all my pregnant crazy you would think he would even want to be in the same room with me :)

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  3. Jason, you will be a great dad! You and jeremy can now get together for dad bonding and counseling sessions...LOL! and jaime and i will just pray that our children turn out okay. I completely understand feeling as though this little person is an intruder. Jeremy and I were married 9 years before we had a baby and it is quite a change but it is a good change. Once your little one is here you really will wonder how you went through life without them all this time. You won't lose your best friend in Jaime, you are gaining another best friend!

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  4. having a baby is equivalent to being a newly wed ... you just want to stay home and cuddle & you can't take your eyes off each other! Then all of a sudden someone farts and you're like "wow, that's not so cute..." :)

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  5. Update: According to some of the people I work with, it's never "just the two of you" anymore, not even after you're much older...good luck, Agent.

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  6. Jason, you will be the best dad- seriously! I love you both and am so excited!

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