Even grocery shopping . . . . . .
6.14.2013
6.13.2013
Breath.
The boys and I just returned from a fantastic trip to Florida to visit my family. This morning I came crashing back to reality. Before I left I had really been struggling with this feeling that I wasn't really giving a 100% to any part of my life. My kids, my art, my marriage, my housework and so on. I feel like I can't just give my all to anything. I hoped maybe the time away would help me find balance but I feel like it made it worse. This morning I have a to do list a mile long. There are commissions to finish, piles of laundry, floors to be cleaned, groceries to be bought, food to be made and two very active little boys to entertain. I love working as an artist and it is what I really want to do but it is also so overwhelming at times because it is very much a work from home kind of gig. And, while home is where I want to be I have times where is so overwhelming to juggle starting a business and keeping up with all my "mom duties." So, this morning I am missing my family and little escape vacation provided. I will say I missed Jason terrible and it is nice to be home. I also have this intense desire to paint, which is actually terrible because the odds of be finding the time to pick up a paint brush today are slim to none. Maybe tomorrow?
Really, I need to stop whining. The boys and I had a lovely trip. The only thing that could have made it better would have been daddy. He couldn't join us this time. I flew down, instead of driving. Flying alone with two year old and an almost four year old is an adventure. But, not as adventurous as driving alone would have been! The boys did pretty well. Henry loved flying. Which was good because on the way into Orlando we hit some really rough turbulence because of the tropical storm. Henry just thought it was normal. Honestly, I'm not crazy about flying. Traveling with kids helped me to be brave. The flight home was really smooth because they made us set on the runway for an HOUR waiting for a storm to pass. So, while the flight was smooth the kids were a bit grumpy. I'll admit, I bribed them with candy. Totally worth it. Still flying was way better than driving. I'm hoping to fly from now on.
As for the time we spent in Florida? It was wonderful. I miss my family so much. In addition to all those who reside in Florida, my family from Alaska was visiting as well. So nice to have everyone all together. We went to the beach, Seaworld and played in the pool. On top of all of my family fun I also got to see one of my closest friends (hi Jenn). It was so nice it almost made me want to live in Florida. ALMOST. I can't help it, Tennessee is in my blood and to quote Ann of Green Gables "I'm so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers." And, they just don't have fall in Florida. Even if I don't want to live there full time, I love visiting so much. The salt water and palm trees are good for the soul. Now, a bunch of photos. . . .
This is the landing we scatter my mom's ashes on. This was taken on the anniversary of her passing. I can't believe it is has been six years. I still miss her like crazy. She would have loved my boys.
I have a big family. This isn't even all of them. Sometimes, since I live so far away, I forget how big my family is.
Henry rode his first roller coaster. He tends to be timid but he wanted to ride it so bad. He loved it. In fact he loved pretty much everything about Seaworld.
Really, I need to stop whining. The boys and I had a lovely trip. The only thing that could have made it better would have been daddy. He couldn't join us this time. I flew down, instead of driving. Flying alone with two year old and an almost four year old is an adventure. But, not as adventurous as driving alone would have been! The boys did pretty well. Henry loved flying. Which was good because on the way into Orlando we hit some really rough turbulence because of the tropical storm. Henry just thought it was normal. Honestly, I'm not crazy about flying. Traveling with kids helped me to be brave. The flight home was really smooth because they made us set on the runway for an HOUR waiting for a storm to pass. So, while the flight was smooth the kids were a bit grumpy. I'll admit, I bribed them with candy. Totally worth it. Still flying was way better than driving. I'm hoping to fly from now on.
As for the time we spent in Florida? It was wonderful. I miss my family so much. In addition to all those who reside in Florida, my family from Alaska was visiting as well. So nice to have everyone all together. We went to the beach, Seaworld and played in the pool. On top of all of my family fun I also got to see one of my closest friends (hi Jenn). It was so nice it almost made me want to live in Florida. ALMOST. I can't help it, Tennessee is in my blood and to quote Ann of Green Gables "I'm so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers." And, they just don't have fall in Florida. Even if I don't want to live there full time, I love visiting so much. The salt water and palm trees are good for the soul. Now, a bunch of photos. . . .
Last year Henry was basically terrified of the water. This year, I am happy to report, we couldn't get him out of the pool. A welcomed change!
This is as close to "relaxing" in the pool as I got.
This is the landing we scatter my mom's ashes on. This was taken on the anniversary of her passing. I can't believe it is has been six years. I still miss her like crazy. She would have loved my boys.
I have a big family. This isn't even all of them. Sometimes, since I live so far away, I forget how big my family is.
Henry and I with my nieces as we were getting ready to go in Seaworld's new area Antarctic. Which, in case you were wondering, was pretty lame. I mean the penguins were cute but it was FREEZING and the ride was really boring.
Henry rode his first roller coaster. He tends to be timid but he wanted to ride it so bad. He loved it. In fact he loved pretty much everything about Seaworld.
And lastly, there was lots of baby tossing and jumping. Alex was fearless when it came to the water. Like, almost to fearless. I come from a family that loves the water. It makes me heart happy to see my boys swimming and playing in the water.
And now . . . it is off to work on that todo list. Boo.
PS. I did this before I left town. I miss the beach almost as much as I miss my family.
6.02.2013
Dinner is over and bed time has begun
Before I had children, I had this glorified idea of how magical bed time would be. I had visions of reading stories and having tender moments of quiet conversation while I tuck my sweet children into bed. This may have been one of my biggest misconceptions about parenthood. In reality, bed time feels like a war zone. That hour before bed is always insane. Everyone one is whiny and fussy. We always seem to be frantically running around trying to get baths, find pajamas, find Alex's blanket (he calls it his bobo) and whatever toy Henry has decided he can't sleep with out. By the time teeth are brushed and we set down for a story, I am so tired I just want fall asleep with them. I'd like to hope this is one of those things that gets better with age but at two and almost four years of age bed time is still the most exhausting time of day. Oh, and once we get them tucked in Henry always feels need to call us in his room for everything. There is a ninja in the closet, I need some water, my nose is running. The other day after going in twice to give Henry hugs I caught myself standing in his doorway proclaiming "no more hugs!" The words weren't even out of my mouth when I stopped in my tracks. Did I really just create a moratorium on hugs? Yes! And, at that point in the day I was so exhausted that I meant it. Isn't that terrible?
When I was a kid, I used to always think my mom was having all kinds of fun while I was sleeping. She always assured me she wasn't, but in my house we are! It is true. When the kids go down we bust out the adult beverages and crack open the ice cream we've hidden from them. Please tell me aren't the only parent who sometimes hide desserts from their kids? Some nights be play games, read books or watch totally awesome movies. It is a party! We deserve it!
We haven't given up on our magical bed time. We always tuck our littles in. Almost every night, we read a story while snuggled on Henry's bed. I've noticed we both speak affirmations over the boys when we are telling them good night. We tell them how sweet and smart they are. We let them know how very much we love them and we each have our own special words we like to whisper to each of them. Like my mom, I often say "I love you to the moon and back." But in truth, we will be back in the room at least three times. It doesn't matter how tired they are, they always need just one more drink of water. I guess I just need to embrace what is instead of trying to make our reality into something it isn't. Bed time is the bewitching hour and I just need to "man up" and push through. We might get a couple of good years before they are teenagers and don't want us tucking them in.
PS. The title is from our favorite night time book, Lull-a-bye, Little One. Alex, particularly loves this look. He will open it and try to read it to me. So sweet. The books is the perfect bed time myth I mentioned above. What it really should say are things about the sweet baby crying and screaming while they refused to eat dinner and kept trying to drink the bathwater. Even if it is fairy tale, it is a really sweet book.
When I was a kid, I used to always think my mom was having all kinds of fun while I was sleeping. She always assured me she wasn't, but in my house we are! It is true. When the kids go down we bust out the adult beverages and crack open the ice cream we've hidden from them. Please tell me aren't the only parent who sometimes hide desserts from their kids? Some nights be play games, read books or watch totally awesome movies. It is a party! We deserve it!
We haven't given up on our magical bed time. We always tuck our littles in. Almost every night, we read a story while snuggled on Henry's bed. I've noticed we both speak affirmations over the boys when we are telling them good night. We tell them how sweet and smart they are. We let them know how very much we love them and we each have our own special words we like to whisper to each of them. Like my mom, I often say "I love you to the moon and back." But in truth, we will be back in the room at least three times. It doesn't matter how tired they are, they always need just one more drink of water. I guess I just need to embrace what is instead of trying to make our reality into something it isn't. Bed time is the bewitching hour and I just need to "man up" and push through. We might get a couple of good years before they are teenagers and don't want us tucking them in.
PS. The title is from our favorite night time book, Lull-a-bye, Little One. Alex, particularly loves this look. He will open it and try to read it to me. So sweet. The books is the perfect bed time myth I mentioned above. What it really should say are things about the sweet baby crying and screaming while they refused to eat dinner and kept trying to drink the bathwater. Even if it is fairy tale, it is a really sweet book.
5.29.2013
Painfully Perfect Trip
Do you ever have those moments that are so painfully perfect that it almost makes you sad? Sad because you know that you can never live it again. That how I felt about our camping trip. Last week, we celebrated our 9 year wedding anniversary. We talked about lots of different ideas for how to celebrate. We considered taking a trip without the kids. But truthfully, a lot of our issues a couple years ago stemmed from our reluctance to embraces this new phase in our lives. We are family, not just Jason and Jaime. We decided that we needed a family vacation. The boys are at wonderfully difficult ages. It is easy to get frustrated with them at home, when we are trying to work or get things done around the house. We needed to press pause on the world and just enjoy our family. We did manage to sneak in a little date night alone before heading off but we took the weekend to just be us. The four of us.
We headed off to Cloudland Canyon State Park. I've been to lots of state and national parks, I must say this is one of the nicest parks I've visited. We were going to camp but when I went to make a reservation I noticed they have a newly built Yurt Village. We opted for the yurt. Besides the fact that yurt is just a fun word to say, it was this perfect blend between camping and staying in a cabin. They have electricity and furniture. We had plenty of space to store all of our stuff and actual beds to sleep on (well a futon, but still better than the ground). Oh and a heater! We scoffed about the heater but we needed it two of the nights we were there. We still had to walk to the bathhouse, but they were super nice. They even had a family bathroom with it's own shower and diaper changing deck. If you aren't a parent, you won't appreciate what a big deal this is.
As for the landscape, it was just stunning. The first morning we got up early and hit the trails (which we could access from our campground). It was still really cool and we had the park to ourselves. We made it all the way to the first waterfall without ever seeing anyone else. It made it all the more magical. Like we had stumbled on to our own little perfect piece of heaven. A piece of heaven that we had to climb lots of stairs to get to. So many, we didn't tackle the second falls. Going to the first water fall (mid way down in the canyon) and then up to the rim made a close to 7 mile round trip hike, on some hard trails. Surprisingly the boys did great. We had to carry Alex some but for the most part he walked. He is hardcore for a two year old. I want to lie and tell you we felt fine afterwards. I woke up in the morning feeling like I had been punched in calves, and I am in pretty good shape. Not for the faint of heart, but totally worth the work to see the beauty.
Oh, and the rim of the canyon was so perfectly lovely. Photos just don't do it justice. Not even a little bit. This vista is accessible by car, if you aren't up for the hike :).
After our intense day of hiking we spent the rest of our three days just playing it low key. We hung out of the Yurt and let the boys play on the campground in our little part of the of the park.
We did manage a little fishing trip. They had this positively magical fishing pond. It was tucked into a quiet little corner park. It was like something out of a book.
Oh, and at night after the boys went to bed Jason and I would sit on the hidden little back porch of the yurt. They had these really comfortable adirondack chairs. We would just set and talking or read. Okay, on the last night we might have streamed some arrested development. We couldn't resist. Speaking of technology, I spent the whole weekend social media free. It was really nice little break. I love the internet, but every now and then a little distance is a good thing.
In the nine years we've been married we've changed more than I could have ever imagine. I can't even begin to write about all the changes. It hasn't always been easy but I am so happy we are still together moving forward and making memories. I couldn't have asked for a better trip or a better anniversary. It was so amazing. We are planning to visit the park again in the fall perhaps. I hope it will be just as magical.
PS. Right before we left the boys got their first super short hair cut and I HATE IT! I really regret it. I miss their floppy hair. Especially on Henry, he just doesn't look the same. We are officially growing it out. But, I guess it will be easy for summer. Still, I can't wait for their sweet blond hair to come back.
P.P.S. Can I brag on myself? Cause I'm gonna! Getting together food for a four day camping trip with no refrigeration was no small feat. But, I did it (even if I wanted to cancel the trip mid-way through the prep)! I wish I had taken photos of everything. While there were some hot dogs and marshmallows, for the most part we are surprising well. Pinterest was a huge help. Below is one of my favorite meals. It was a foil packet we roasted in the coals with sweet potatoes, sausage, squash, zucchini, onions and fresh rosemary. I know it doesn't look like a lot but it was so tasty. Jason also managed to whip is big ol' breakfast for us each morning. There is nothing quiet as tasty has eggs and bacon on a camping trip.
We headed off to Cloudland Canyon State Park. I've been to lots of state and national parks, I must say this is one of the nicest parks I've visited. We were going to camp but when I went to make a reservation I noticed they have a newly built Yurt Village. We opted for the yurt. Besides the fact that yurt is just a fun word to say, it was this perfect blend between camping and staying in a cabin. They have electricity and furniture. We had plenty of space to store all of our stuff and actual beds to sleep on (well a futon, but still better than the ground). Oh and a heater! We scoffed about the heater but we needed it two of the nights we were there. We still had to walk to the bathhouse, but they were super nice. They even had a family bathroom with it's own shower and diaper changing deck. If you aren't a parent, you won't appreciate what a big deal this is.
 |
| Get it? For nine or nine years of marriage! |
As for the landscape, it was just stunning. The first morning we got up early and hit the trails (which we could access from our campground). It was still really cool and we had the park to ourselves. We made it all the way to the first waterfall without ever seeing anyone else. It made it all the more magical. Like we had stumbled on to our own little perfect piece of heaven. A piece of heaven that we had to climb lots of stairs to get to. So many, we didn't tackle the second falls. Going to the first water fall (mid way down in the canyon) and then up to the rim made a close to 7 mile round trip hike, on some hard trails. Surprisingly the boys did great. We had to carry Alex some but for the most part he walked. He is hardcore for a two year old. I want to lie and tell you we felt fine afterwards. I woke up in the morning feeling like I had been punched in calves, and I am in pretty good shape. Not for the faint of heart, but totally worth the work to see the beauty.
Oh, and the rim of the canyon was so perfectly lovely. Photos just don't do it justice. Not even a little bit. This vista is accessible by car, if you aren't up for the hike :).
After our intense day of hiking we spent the rest of our three days just playing it low key. We hung out of the Yurt and let the boys play on the campground in our little part of the of the park.
Here is an inside shot, if you curious (I was) what one was like. I should have taken a photos before we unpacked. Also, bug nets might not have been the best idea. Mostly, they tried to "catch" each other with them.
We did manage a little fishing trip. They had this positively magical fishing pond. It was tucked into a quiet little corner park. It was like something out of a book.
Oh, and at night after the boys went to bed Jason and I would sit on the hidden little back porch of the yurt. They had these really comfortable adirondack chairs. We would just set and talking or read. Okay, on the last night we might have streamed some arrested development. We couldn't resist. Speaking of technology, I spent the whole weekend social media free. It was really nice little break. I love the internet, but every now and then a little distance is a good thing.
In the nine years we've been married we've changed more than I could have ever imagine. I can't even begin to write about all the changes. It hasn't always been easy but I am so happy we are still together moving forward and making memories. I couldn't have asked for a better trip or a better anniversary. It was so amazing. We are planning to visit the park again in the fall perhaps. I hope it will be just as magical.
PS. Right before we left the boys got their first super short hair cut and I HATE IT! I really regret it. I miss their floppy hair. Especially on Henry, he just doesn't look the same. We are officially growing it out. But, I guess it will be easy for summer. Still, I can't wait for their sweet blond hair to come back.
P.P.S. Can I brag on myself? Cause I'm gonna! Getting together food for a four day camping trip with no refrigeration was no small feat. But, I did it (even if I wanted to cancel the trip mid-way through the prep)! I wish I had taken photos of everything. While there were some hot dogs and marshmallows, for the most part we are surprising well. Pinterest was a huge help. Below is one of my favorite meals. It was a foil packet we roasted in the coals with sweet potatoes, sausage, squash, zucchini, onions and fresh rosemary. I know it doesn't look like a lot but it was so tasty. Jason also managed to whip is big ol' breakfast for us each morning. There is nothing quiet as tasty has eggs and bacon on a camping trip.
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